The colonel grinned as the Field Marshal chuckled, "it should have been another King's Cross."I glared and he shrugged, "the king and dukes council agreed."In my office I sat and the Field Marshal accepted a packet from an aid and gestured them out. He waited until the door closed before he opened it and handed me a scroll. I looked at the king's seal before I broke it and opened the scroll. I began to read and looked at the Field Marshal, "do you know what this is?"He nodded, "a royal patent. The translation loses the beat. This is Krakow, buddy, and that’s the way it be. Marek shakes his vek like a wet dog emerging from a dank bog. He sells me a used and abused Smith and Wesson for the pimp to learn a lesson from my sweet little schoolgirl impersonation. If you think this is hard for you to swallow, Marek tells me something that you could translate as follows: “May you get cholera! If I didn’t know you were a fucking anorexic half-Japanese midget with a dick and cash, I’d rape you!. ”“How?”“It has been many generations since this tribe has had a female Shaman,” he continued. “Perhaps that is because females are no longer taught to read and cannot study the ancient tablets.” His chuckle became a raspy cough, “And what female would be willing to live with, and study under, a randy old goat such as myself?”Tablet Eight So began my apprenticeship to the Shaman. He taught me how to go within myself and watch for visions as I stood naked tied to his post. He also taught me how. I imagine a timer of some sort would be useful for cooking, but people had gotten along fine without them since the discovery of fire. Heck, my mother never used a timer or a measuring spoon. Her eyes and her nose were good enough for her and nobody ever complained about her cooking.To tell the truth, my watch was more for verifying the time than anything else. Pretty much the only thing I'd used it for was meals, and I looked at it when I got the feeling it was getting close to eatin' time. I.
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