April 23, 1845Today we turned west toward the Big Blue River. We didn't see any Pawnees, but we did see smoke far off to our north. We're still traveling through rolling hills, but there were no streams to cross, at least not any with water in them.We had our first dry camp after traveling twenty miles. We weren't hurting for water, as we'd filled all of our barrels the night before. We did have to water all of the livestock from our barrels though.Millie, Tess and I had made it a habit to take. I began copying everything I could lay my fingers on and downloading them to my own files. I was going to make sure I had all the dirty evidence I could find.Once we had copied all of it, we hunted further into his files to see if there was anything else hidden but it seemed that, like everything else in his life, he had managed to keep that well contained. We spent the afternoon going through all of this information. It was emotionally exhausting and at one point, William got up to make us all. “How did you come to know that your mother came to visit me while I was gone? I did not even know that she was coming, nor did I understand how she knew where I was.”“I overheard her talking to Celka when she got back,” she replied, an irritated tone in her voice. “It was then that I found out about her visiting you, that she told you to destroy the journal and that you had Lillian with you! You came up with a lame excuse of why she was with you when you returned.”“Lillian was attacked by a. I wonder if he had a wife and children. I gave no thought that my actions might affect others. I acted as a child does when it is hurt and struck out blindly without thought. What he did was vile and wrong, but he did not kill me. Others have suffered the same horror I did and survived without seeking vengeance. Others used the goodness of their souls to forgive. Instead, I used my power to exact my revenge. I guess the fates decided my face should reflect the ugliness of my blighted soul. I.
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