Biting pain grips my abdomen, my sensesalmost disappear, helpless on the little radio, I kneel and do my duty.Jacky and I step onto the street, strolling along the shops. No womanpays special attention to me, only a few men look at me with a smile, asif they wanted to rape me on the spot.We go to the KaDeWe, go to the 2nd floor, women's clothing. Jacky headsfor the festive clothing department."Try the long chiffon dress here!" where she shows me the transmitter.So off to the changing rooms. Any sane person would assume that if you hear your dead father’s voice you are hallucinating. Since he had died young and unexpectedly, within the past few years, the psychiatrists would be less surprised. If these hallucinations happened during sex, they would nod knowingly, especially those with Freudian inclinations.What could they convey to Daphne that would convince her it was real? There was no point in repeating some shared secret that only she and some ancestor shared. If Daphne knew. In fact my husband, six years older than me, set records for sexual performance. He fucked me every night, always quickly, always the same – missionary style – and I usually cummed. I was a willing and able receptacle of his emissions although I would have liked variety. During my periods I gave him blow jobs. When we married he regarded blow jobs as deviant and, thus, sinful but over the years he changed his mind and now he considered them an acceptable substitute for biblically-sanctioned. Maybe i'd get stinky fingers"i said faking bravado and playing to the crowd.my freinds are dicks to me and im a dick to them but we are all still freinds i guess its just immature talk.as I sat on the bus home several thoughts were passing through my head as Sandra occupied the seat in front of mine her hair tied back into its usual bun (mostly how amasing it would be to take the hairband out and watch her hair come down and flow over her naked body)but other thoughts like how will i ask her?.
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