I thought I should be naked to read about being naked. I started reading again and Lynn came in to change clothes. She asked me what I was reading and we talked about it a few minutes.“Lynn, you know that feeling when you get out of the shower? You’re all clean and warm. Then you have to get dressed. I wish we could just go on with our day and not get dressed. You know what I mean?”“I guess. But then I’d run into Dave and he would say something mean and I would want to hide.”“Yeah, but .... ”“There’s nothing childish about it, Rory,” Ethan said rather firmly.“Then, what is it?”“I’m no psychiatrist, but I suspect it’s natural. When you have something that makes you very happy, it’s only normal to worry about losing it.” He moved and sat next to her, his arm over her shoulder.She sighed and leaned against him. “I don’t think I could survive losing you,” she whispered. “Mom and Dad were enough.”Ethan spoke quietly. “Life isn’t always smooth sailing. Getting angry at each other is. The clerk was startled by that, but he recovered quickly. “Just take the scoop and pick up as much as you think that you can use. No charge. I just want to show my appreciation for what you did.”That was when I saw the price posted for the BBs, and saw that two pounds of shot was going to be lost in the decimal points. Nevertheless, it was the principle of the thing, so I used the scoop to weigh out two pounds of BBs and poured them into a paper sack. We got out as quickly as we could and left. There were too few nuns and monks to do that.The world was like Europe after the Western Roman Empire collapsed. In turmoil. But it would sort itself out eventually. Maybe not for centuries, but things would improve again. Hopefully, the people would make better choices.So I couldn't let my parents succeed. But I could see them and beg for their forgiveness. And maybe, just maybe, I would finally be allowed to die. My punishment for killing my entire family would be over and I could join them.
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